Hand Jobs

What if you were to spend one evening where you could do absolutely anything you wanted to each other except have intercourse? What would you do? How would you explore each other's bodies differently? What kinds of thing would you like to do to your lover? What would you want done to you? What would bring you to orgasm? Let us consider some of the options you might be willing to explore….

Hand Jobs for Her

Men sometimes overlook the power they hold in their hands to give pleasure to their partners. Since both men and women masturbate using their own digits, it makes sense that women would enjoy manual stimulation with a partner. A well-delivered hand job can help you gauge her arousal level, warm her up for inter-course, or bring her to orgasm all by itself.

Don't go to her pussy right off the bat; kiss her, touch her, and wait until she's riled up a little. If she starts thrusting herself against your leg or you feel her panties get damp, you'll know she's ready for you to travel south of the border. First and fore-most, men should ask their partners what kind of manual stimulation they like. It's safe to assume she wants you to focus on the clitoral glans, but every woman is different, and it never hurts to ask. Be slow and gentle at first, and keep in mind that before a woman is completely aroused, her clitoris can be too sensitive for vigorous rubbing. So begin by indirectly stimulating her clit: rub the side of her od, rather than directly on it.

As she gets more revved up and her clitoris swells, you can increase the rubbing, and you can move directly to her clit. Experiment with different levels of pressure and motion; some women prefer an up-and-down motion, others like side-to-side rubbing or a circular movement. There is nothing worse than a dry rub, so I recommend using plenty of lube for the optimum hand job. If she feels comfortable doing it, you may ask her to show you how she likes it—then she can place her hand over yours and guide you. Remember: if anyone knows how to do her best, it's her.

Even as you're paying attention to her clit, don't ignore the rest of her pussy—rub her labia, her vaginal opening, her perineum. If she wants penetration, slowly slip a well-lubricated finger inside her, and curve it toward her navel to stimulate her G-spot. Move in and out with consistent, deliberate strokes. Ask her if she wants more fingers, or if she likes it faster, harder, or deeper. Use your thumb or the palm of your hand to continue to stimulate her clit while your fingers are inside her. Make sure your nails are clean and well-trimmed; you wouldn't believe how many women have complained to me about that! Never jam your fingers inside her pussy or wander aimlessly like you are picking fruit or something. The key here is smooth, rhythmic motion. And always know that the hand job doesn't have to stop: it can and hopefully will continue during intercourse.

Hand Jobs for Him

Too many women feel frustrated, intimidated, or unmotivated to give a guy a good handjob. Women say they don't know how to do it, and, unfortunately, no one ever showed them the way. Some women believe that their partner can give himself the best handjob of all, so how could hers ever compete? Or women just dismiss the handjob as something a high school girl might do, an inferior, adolescent act they've moved beyond. Remember that a well-executed handjob can be titillating, pleasurable, and fun for both partners.

The first thing women need to know about is something that will drastically improve their technique: lubricant. That's right, just a few squirts of lube on your hand, and you'll be on your way to working his cock well. Lube helps you make one smooth motion which obviously feels much better than a dry run up and down the pole. The trick is to achieve slickness and friction at once, and when you've greased the runway, it's much easier to accomplish. As with anything else, when women ask their male partners what they like—or watch as he demonstrates his techniques—they feel more confident and excited about doing it because they are closer to doing it well. Women should experiment with different levels of pressure to see what feels best to him, minding long nails, so they don't scratch him. Pay close attention to the most sensitive part of his cock, the head. And don't forget about the rest of his body—play with his testicles, tweak his nipples, hey, you could even squeeze his ass

Hand Jobs Tricks for Him and Her

Lube it: Add some lube to the equation. 

Watch and Learn: Have your partner show you what he or she likes. 

Hot Spots: For him, the head of the penis; for her, the clitoris. 

Full Body: Don't ignore nipples, lips, inner thighs, butt, and the rest of the body. 

Open Mouth: Hey, it's one advantage over oral sex—your mouth isn't full! So use it to talk dirty or tell your lover what you like.