What Women Really Want and Enjoy the Most ? (Female Ejaculation)

 

Make Her Squirt!

Female ejaculation is not a new phenomenon. Women have been ejaculating for a very long time (and it was documented as early as the 1950s), but there has not been a widespread public awareness of it. Many women have been creating spurts and puddles during masturbation and sex, but the problem is that most squirters don't know what is happening. Some attribute the extra dampness to an excess of lubrication and don't give it a second thought. Sadly, others think that they have lost control of their bladders and peed during sex. Some ejaculators believe they have an incontinence problem and go to a doctor seeking information and help. Unfortunately, many doctors don't know about female ejaculation or don't believe it exists; some have even performed surgery on women for incontinence, instead of reassuring them that it's a perfectly normal occurrence that happens to plenty of other women.

When the book The GSpotwas released in 1982, Ladas, Whip-pie, and Perry provided original research—call it proof if you want—about female ejaculation. Beverly Whipple even made a video of research subjects ejaculating. A decade later, the les-bian video company Fatale released How to Female Ejaculate, an instructional video that clearly explained—and illustrated—the phenomenon. Yet a great majority of the medical and scientific community still refused to believe it or support further research. As a result, women are still being told by doctors that they are peeing, not ejaculating, and some are going under the knife to "correct the problem."

In order for doctors and scientists of mainstream institutions to accept the occurrence of female ejaculation, many would have to rethink their entire concept of female anatomy and sex-ual response. Instead, they dismiss female ejaculation or ignore it altogether.

Women have suffered self-doubt and embarrassment or shame and criticism from themselves, lovers, and medical pro-fessionals for too long. It is important for them and their part-ners to have clear and useful information about female ejaculation. What we learned about female ejaculation in The G Spot has been enriched by books like The Good Vibrations Guide: The G-Spot, by Cathy Winks, and The Clitoral Truth, by Rebecca Chalker. These books help reassure women and replace misin-formation and doubt with research and facts about what our bodies are capable of.

Maybe you have always suspected that the puddle under-neath you had some explanation. Perhaps a lightbulb has gone off in your head reading this, and you realize now that you (or your partner) has ejaculated before. In either case, the follow-ing information will give you new insight into what you are already capable of. It will reassure you that your body and sexu-ality are not abnormal in any way, and it may give you a few tricks to make your ejaculating experiences even better. Because many women may have had negative experiences with lovers in the past, been misinformed by health-care professionals, or felt ashamed that something was wrong with them, they need time to process the new, correct information. If this sounds familiar, give yourself (or your partner) a chance to get over your inse-curities and accept your unique female ability.

If you are already a female ejaculator (and proud of it), use the information to answer any lingering questions, expand on your own knowledge on the subject, and add a few techniques to your squirting artillery. Hopefully, you'll learn a thing or two and continue to celebrate your ejaculation skills.

If you have never ejaculated before, read the information with an open mind. If you enjoy G-spot stimulation, you may want to take it one step further to ejaculation. If everything in this article is new for you, take in all in, and give yourself time to figure out if it's something you'd like to try. Female ejacula-tion is fun, it feels good, and it is another incredible way that women experience pleasure.

What Is Female Ejaculation, and All About the Fluid

During vaginal penetration when the G-spot is stimulated, the tissue of the urethral sponge fills with blood, becomes engorged, and swells. The paraurethral glands surrounding the sponge also swell as they fill with fluid. When a woman is very aroused and firm pressure is applied to her urethral sponge, the glands release the fluid through the urethra, and the woman ejaculates.

Studies have shown that there are significant differences in the chemical makeup of ejaculatory fluid and urine. Some researchers believe that ejaculate is made of prostatic fluid (sim-ilar to fluid produced by the male prostate gland) produced by the urethral glands; others think it is a chemically altered form of urine. Ejaculatory fluid is thin and liquidy and most often clear, colorless, or milky. It's usually odorless or may have a slightly sweet smell, and may taste sugary. The taste of women's ejaculate, as with all her vaginal secretions, depends greatly on her diet. The way most people know that ejaculate is not urine is by doing their own tests on the spot: feel it, taste it, or sniff the sheets, and you'll be able to tell right away. If you don't want to take my word for it, there is also some scientific proof as well.9 It's difficult to definitively characterize ejaculatory fluid since there is so little research on the subject, yet from all of the research done, we know that it has different properties and a different chemical makeup than urine.10

So, if every woman has a G-spot, then why doesn't every woman ejaculate? Maybe the fluid is being released and women just don't know it. Here's one possible scenario: the sponge may be releasing ejaculate, but the amount is so small, it doesn't seem significant. Or women may attribute the wetness to any number of things—vaginal lubrication, secretions from the cervix, and that handful of personal lubricant she used—instead of ejaculatory fluid. Or the fluid could be a combination of all four substances. Some women feel the urge to pee right after sex. Another explanation is that as they pee, they may also be ejaculating right into the toilet bowel without knowing it.11 Interestingly, Whipple and Perry suggested that women who ejaculate may be less prone to urinary tract infections or that women who hold back for fear of peeing and don't ejaculate can be more likely to develop a UTI.ia Or maybe the fluid doesn't get released at all, and there has simply not been enough research to find out what happens to it or why some women do and some women just don't.

The chemical makeup is difficult to calculate. When a woman ejaculates, the fluid may combine with other substances, creating a combination fluid that is unique to each woman. All this pressure on the urethral sponge can also cause a woman to ejaculate and pee a small amount; if ejaculatory fluid is mixed with urine, obviously its properties change—it may be yellow in color or smell and taste more like urine. In some cases, vigorous G-spot stimulation can make her simply pee, without ejaculating at all. It's possible, but not likely.

Another reason that ejaculation is so hard to measure is that different women ejaculate in very different ways. In my bed, at sex parties and workshops, on adult movie sets, and in authen-tic videos, I have personally seen about fifty different women ejaculate. Many practiced and skilled ejaculators can actually shoot or squirt an impressive amount of fluid. I've seen women soak through towels and even gush like a low-pressure faucet. For other women, ejaculation is much less dramatic—the fluid seeps or leaks out of them, and they don't necessarily have a tremendous amount of control over it. These women may just find a small puddle under their butts after sex. Still others fall somewhere in between, delivering ejaculatory fluid in spurts or gushes, depending on the situation.

The quantity of fluid varies greatly depending on the woman. Some women may have bigger glands than others, or their glands may produce more fluid than others.13 Whipple and Perry concluded from their research that the amount can range from a few drops to a quarter of a teaspoon.14 I've witnessed women soak nearly half a mattress after they ejaculate several cups of fluid, while others release much smaller amounts of fluid. Some women are multiple ejaculators; they squirt once, then can be stimulated to squirt several times again. I can prob-ably only fill a tablespoon with my own ejaculatory fluid. The important thing to remember is not to pressure yourself; how-ever you do it is fabulous! How to Make Her Ejaculate

Once you've located her G-spot, if you want to try to make her squirt, you need to apply direct, consistent, and pretty strong pressure to it. Remember, a gentle touch is not going to bring forth that precious fluid—you need to be pretty vigorous. If you are using your fingers, your hand should be facing palm up, fin-gers curved so you can create a pulling motion. Move those fin-gers back and forth, kneading and pulling at that spongy area. Keep it up until she tells you that she's ready to squirt. Some-times, you can feel her start to bear down and then you know the dam's about to burst. 

Often, when a woman is about to ejac-ulate, you'll hear a particular sound as you work her G-spot. Instead of the traditional in-and-out music, this will be like a sloshing sound; it's unique, but difficult to describe. I want to say you'll know it when you hear it, but that's not any help, is it? Anyway, when she tells you or you feel her bear down or hear the sound, give the sponge one good pull, or you can try pushing up against it with strong pressure, and see what happens. If nothing happens, go back to what you were doing, give her more time to get revved up, and repeat all the steps as necessary.

If you are fisting her (have all five fingers or your entire hand inside her vagina), and you want to make her ejaculate, you need to change your hand position. Whether your palm is fac-ing up with your fingers curled down or your hand is turned to the side with your thumb up, chances are you are taking up a whole lot of space in there. Often, with something as big as a fist (or an especially thick dildo, vibrator, or penis), you are most likely blocking the urethral opening, which means fluid can't come out. All you need to do is get out of its way. Slowly with-draw your hand from her vagina, then return with two or three fingers. Use your fingers to stimulate her G-spot, give it a few tugs, and watch her shoot her stuff. (For more on fisting, read the Q&A at the end of this article.)

You can also make her squirt with a vibrator or dildo. Again, choose one with a pronounced curve or an attachment made especially for G-spot stimulation. Make sure the curve is toward her navel and experiment with different positions until you get a good angle. Just putting it inside and pressing against her G-spot without moving it will not do the trick. Use the toyjust as you'd use your fingers, with a firm pulling motion. She may also want to stimulate her clitoris while you are penetrating her.

Like I said before, hitting her G-spot with your penis is going to be challenging. I find it interesting that Whipple and Perry concluded that there was a higher rate of female ejaculation among women who have sex with women than heterosexual women.15 They didn't expand on why this might be, but I have an idea: it's because lesbians who practice penetration are more likely to use their fingers, and finger fucking is a great route to female ejaculation. While straight men may dabble with their digits from time to time, they more often than not focus on their dicks, which, quite frankly, are not the best ejaculation tools for women.

Making her squirt with your cock may be difficult, but I know you're up for the challenge! On the set of an adult film, I saw porn star Kyle Stone employ a very interesting technique which I recommend you try. His partner in the film, actress (and known ejaculator) Jewel Valmont, was on her back on a table, and he was standing over her. He held his dick at the base and, with the bottom of his hand, curved it slightly upward toward her G-spot. He inserted only about half the length of his dick inside her so that the head of his penis would hit her G-spot. He used his dick almost like a dildo, controlling it and moving it very specifically and rhythmically with his own hand. After some spirited and consistent pumping, he pulled his dick out, and she shot ejaculate all over the place. So, lessons you can learn from Kyle: don't go all the way inside her. Remember, the G-spot is only a few inches in. Use your hand to control the angle and  pressure of your penis. When she's ready to squirt, your penis may be blocking her urethra, so get out of the way and let her shoot!

How to Ejaculate

Women: in order to assuage any concerns or fears you may have about urinating, it's a good idea to pee before you have sex. A trip to the bathroom will reassure you that your bladder is fairly empty and you are much less likely to pee.

Some women ejaculate right away, others take more time to get there. When you are first starting out, take your time and be patient. Remember, once you are aroused and the sponge has swelled, it's much easier to find the G-spot. Some women who ejaculate find that it's easier to squirt once they've had an orgasm or two. For one thing, working your way up to an orgasm gets the juices flowing and gets the paraurethral glands produc-ing fluid. Having an orgasm before you attempt to ejaculate will also help you to relax, which is absolutely necessary for you to do. If you are not multiorgasmic, then you may want to prolong foreplay, delay your orgasm, and get as worked up as possible.

As your partner stimulates your G-spot, take lots of deep breaths and relax. When you start to get the feeling like you are going to pee, tell yourself that you are not. Do not tense up or try to hold in your pee—this will make it extremely difficult to ejaculate. After plenty of G-spot stimulation, when you feel as if you might explode, many women say it helps to bear down, as if you are pushing something out of your vagina. Even if you still feel like you're going to pee, just let go. The worst thing that can happen is that you will in fact pee, but it's unlikely, especially if you just emptied your bladder before sex.

What does ejaculation feel like? Some women are very aware of exactly when they are ejaculating, and the moment it first begins. They feel like they have to pee, a sensation of pressure builds, they relax and bear down, and they release ejaculatory fluid. These women tend to have a well-developed PC muscle and good control over their ejaculation. Very experienced ejac-ulators as well as "gushers" (women who produce a large amount of fluid) usually fall into this category. Other women have less of a sense when ejaculation is happening.

When I first ejaculated, my girlfriend was working my G-spot with her fingers (she had a definite mission) and suddenly I got that feeling. It's a feeling I've had plenty of times during pene-tration and G-spot stimulation, a feeling like I was going to pee. I have always resisted the urge, held back, and many times even stopped the action to run to the bathroom. 

More often than not, I wind up on the toilet with a trickle or no pee at all. "I feel like I'm gonna pee," I said. 'You're not going to pee," she reas-sured me. "Just let go." It was tough. I feel like I've been prac-ticing for years to hold it in for fear I would pee on lovers who weren't exactly the golden showers type. But I had a profound amount of trust for her. So I did what she said, and I let go. Min-utes later, I was coming. It felt like an altogether different kind of orgasm than I was used to. I had that climax feeling, but instead of being followed simply by a rush and pussy contrac-tions, I felt this warm wave run through my insides. It just took over, and I went with it. When she took my hand and put it on the blanket underneath me, I was shocked. I made a puddle that soaked her beautiful bedspread!

The more you ejaculate, the more conscious you will become of what is happening, and when it happens. The more you relax and stay connected to your body, the better you'll be able to gauge where it's at and how the ejaculation process works for you.

If you'd like to try to ejaculate, one of the other things you need to do is make sure you are hydrated; as you can imagine, dehydration affects the production of all kinds of fluids in our bodies. Many women I know who ejaculate say that if they haven't had enough to drink or are dehydrated from exercise or something else, they definitely have a more difficult time ejacu-lating or they ejaculate much less fluid. So keep that tall glass of water or Gatorade by the bedside!

How to Make Yourself Ejaculate

You don't necessarily need a partner to ejaculate; many women can make themselves squirt during masturbation. Your ability to find your own G-spot and stimulate it enough to ejaculate depends on several factors: your particular body—the length of your arms, hands, and fingers; where your G-spot is located (since it does differ depending on the woman); how flexible you are; and your body position. If you'd like to make yourself come and squirt with your own hand, I recommend experimenting with different positions to see what works best for you. Follow the techniques I have already described, including firm pres-sure, the pulling motion, and bearing down. Some women find that it is much too difficult to reach their G-spot with their fin-gers. Others can find the spot, but cannot stimulate it vigorously enough to lead to ejaculation. I recommend using a dildo or vibrator with a pronounced curve or one that is specifically designed for G-spot stimulation, such as the Crystal Wand. Using a toy will take the pressure off, and you won't have to twist yourself into a pretzel in order to get at your G-spot!

Best Positions to Ejaculate

You should definitely experiment with different body positions for G-spot stimulation and female ejaculation, whether you are alone or with a partner. If you are going to lie on your back, it may help to put a pillow underneath your ass to get a better angle, and your partner should curve whatever he is penetrating you with upward (remember, we're aiming toward the navel). Doggie-style position or a modified version of it with your head down and your ass in the air is a good position for beginner ejac-ulators and their partners, since it provides a perfect angle for G-spot stimulation; your body is angled so that whatever goes into your vagina has a very likely shot at hitting the G-spot. When in this position, your partner should pull his fingers, his penis, or the sex toy back toward him.

Some women recommend the woman-on-top position for ejaculation because they can control the angle of their body, and the position of the spot in relation to their partner's penis; make sure to angle your body forward and lean into the penis, fingers, or whatever's inside you. Lots of women have great luck ejaculating while sitting, squatting, or standing up. Again, make sure to angle a finger, penis, or toy toward your navel, and you may want to move your pelvis or thrust your hips backward or forward, depending on which gives you better contact between your chosen tool and your G-spot. Don't expect greatness the first time around. Cut yourself some slack, it may take a few tries before you get the right combination of the perfect angle and levels of stimulation and relaxation in order to squirt.

Ejaculation Without G-Spot Stimulation

Thus far, my emphasis has been on direct G-spot stimulation, since that's how the majority of women ejaculate. From research (although far too little) and anecdotal evidence, we know that there are some women who can ejaculate without any direct G-spot stimulation whatsoever; they squirt from clitoral stimula-tion. So, how is that possible? Well, if you review your anatomy lesson and remember that the clitoris is much more far-reaching than just the clitoral glans, you realize that the G-spot is part of the clitoral system. Because these structures are close together and affect one another, stimulation of the glans certainly has an effect on the urethral sponge, and may cause it to fill with fluid. Some of the same rules apply for ejaculation through clitoral stimulation: the more aroused a woman is, the more likely she is to ejaculate. Some women feel that if they press down right above the pubic bone, they can hit the G-spot "from the other side" and make themselves squirt that way. Many women say they can ejaculate after they've had an orgasm already by continuing to stimulate the clitoris.

Orgasm and Female Ejaculation

Ejaculating may feel like a big release, a genitally focused orgasm, or a deep full-body orgasm. Is ejaculating the same thing as having an orgasm? Well, like so many other sexual phe-nomena, that really depends upon the woman. When a woman ejaculates, her ejaculation may or may not be preceded, accom-panied, or followed by an orgasm. Some women say that ejacu-lation feels like a release, yet it differs from how an orgasm feels; they may ejaculate first then later have an orgasm. Other women say that squirting is one kind of orgasm that they experience, different from other kinds of orgasms they have, but an orgasm nonetheless. For others, orgasm and ejaculation go hand in hand and seem to happen simultaneously. There are also women who experience orgasm, then continue to stimulate themselves to ejaculation. You do not need one for the other to happen—ejaculation and orgasm are not mutually exclusive.

Safer Sex and Ejaculatory Fluid

Since there is still much debate about the exact makeup of female ejaculatory fluid, some of you may be wondering what, if any, are the risks if you come into contact with it. Female ejacu-late is another bodily fluid like vaginal secretions, semen, blood, urine, and feces. From what we know about it, female ejaculate does not have as high a concentration of HIV as semen or blood.16 As you can imagine, there is no research on the risks associated with transmitting HIV, hepatitis, or STDs (like her-pes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and others) through female ejaculate. If you are not fluid-bonded with your partner, you should protect yourself from ejaculate getting on any mucous membranes. That means using condoms, gloves, and barriers for oral sex.

Can Any Woman Ejaculate?

Let's compare ejaculation to another sexual phenomenon: the orgasm. Every woman has the necessary physical parts and capacity to have an orgasm. Yet some women have great difficulty achieving orgasm, or never do. Likewise, every woman has the necessary equip-ment to ejaculate, but not every woman ejaculates. Sometimes women may be too inhibited and afraid to pee to let themselves ejaculate. Other times, they may ejaculate, but the amount of fluid is barely noticeable. I believe any woman can learn how to ejaculate. It's simply a matter of knowing more about your body and how it works, and practice, practice, practice. You may end up with the tiniest of puddles under your butt, and you may not become a shooting superstar. But you will learn about one more amazing thing women are capable of and you'll have plenty of fun trying to master this new trick. Don't pressure yourself to ejaculate because you think it's the cool new thing to do, it's the key to the best sex of your life, or you feel pressure from your lover. Do it because it feels good, do it because you want to, do it for you.