‘Stretching’
We also suggest moving your lower abdomen, which is
physically connected to your pubic area, up and down by pressing your hand into
your body with as much pressure as feels good to you. You can alternatively use
just your fingers to press into the lower abdomen and pubic area in order to
find the spot and pressure that feel the best. You can use all of your fingers
on one spot or find a couple of areas close to each other and press with one or
two fingers at a time on one spot before releasing the pressure and pressing
with two other fingers on the second spot. You might also enjoy using two hands—one on either side of your upper pubic or
lower abdominal area—by pressing with both hands at the same time or by
alternating between pressing and releasing. You can have fun experimenting here
to find what works best for you. Note that both men and women find the lower
abdominal area to be pleasurable to the touch.
Approve of all the sensations you experience, and only
continue for as long as the feelings keep getting better. You may lightly brush
your pubic hair with the back or front or side of your hand, or you may gently
stroke your scrotal area from bottom to top. You can play with different areas
around your genitals, such as your perineum, anus, and scrotum. You can use
single strokes or apply different pressures—whatever feels best. By now your
penis is probably erect and you are hopefully feeling much pleasure down there.
Again, remember that the penis does not have to be erect to do these exercises,
or even to feel pleasure.
Applying Lubricant
Put some lubricant on one finger and apply it to the
part of your penis that most desires to be touched. The location and size of
the area is up to you. You can do this very nimbly and gently; usually, the
more trained a man becomes, the more he can enjoy a light touch. You want to
feel as much as you can with every touch, including the application of the
lubricant. This is another opportunity to practice the single touch, only this
time using some lubricant, which can make it ever so much more pleasurable. You
can then apply more lubricant to another part of your penis. You may feel
tingles and actual contractions as you do this. You might already be close to
orgasm merely as a result of applying the lubricant. Continue applying
lubricant in small amounts until your entire penis is covered and well
lubricated. I like to save the frenulum or apex for last, as it is the most
sensitive part of the penis and thus serves as the focal point. A single, final
touch on this exquisite area with some lubricant may bring you to a high level
of arousal.
What we just described is one way to apply lubricant
that is very luxurious and deliberate. You can also place a bigger batch of
lubricant all over your fingers and apply it from the base of the penis to the
tip in one stroke, using the hand as a kind of tube. Or you can apply the
lubricant starting on a different side of your penis each time. One time you
can start on the posterior side and work your way to the sensitive underneath
area, or anterior side; another time you can put it on your most sensitive area
first and then spread it around. Whether you do it slowly, using a little
lubricant at a time, or quickly, with a lot of lubricant, depends on how you
feel at the moment. I usually prefer to start lubricating the least sensitive
areas first and work my way slowly to the most sensitive ones.
There are many ways to apply lubricant, and you can
ask your partner to be creative in this sensual act as well as being innovative
yourself. You can always think up new ways to apply lubricant. It is all about
pleasure, and as long as you are enjoying the process you will be enhancing
your pleasure. Sometimes I don’t feel that interested in self-pleasure, but as
soon as I start touching myself with some lubricant my interest greatly
increases. I know I will be in “pleasure mode” as soon as the first bit of lubricant
reaches my penis. However, as soon as you catch your thoughts slipping into the
future while you’re doing anything, even lubricating, take a little break.
Single-Touch and Single-Stroke
Masturbation
Once you have lubricated your entire penis you can
start masturbating, first using one touch at a time and then using one stroke
at a time. Check out different touches and strokes. Just touch yourself—aiming
for as much pleasure and sensation as you can muster—and then remove your hand.
Touch and stroke different parts of your penis to see where it feels best. As
we have said, most men are most sensitive right below the corona, on the
underside of the penis, so give yourself some single strokes there. One at a
time, try some short strokes and some longer strokes, discovering how much you
can feel with each kind. Play with different pressures, different speeds, and
different types of strokes. Anything that you can come up with is okay as long
as it feels good. Remember, give yourself only one stroke at a time for now.
Starting to Connect
Now touch the most sensitive area of your penis with
one hand while you simultaneously touch a secondary area with your other hand.
It may be best to choose a secondary area that contains erectile tissue, such
as lips, nipples, or anus. Put some lubricant on the secondary area, too,
especially when you start stroking it. Do only a single stroke or touch, and then
stop. Use the same kind of touch or stroke on both areas. Continue touching
both areas a number of times, and then touch only your penis. Notice whether
you feel anything at all in your secondary area, even if it is only some heat
or a slight sensation. Then once again touch the two areas at the same time for
a few strokes, stopping after each stroke. Next, touch only your secondary
area, and see if you can feel any sensation in your penis.
Don’t feel bad if you feel nothing or only a little
bit; it takes practice to build a good connection. Now try some single strokes
on both areas at the same time and see if this increases the sensation. Then,
using one stroke at a time, stroke only your penis, then both places, and then
only your secondary area. Use the strokes that you found most pleasurable when
you did the single-stroke masturbation exercise. Anticipate the strokes by focusing your
attention on where you will be touching and stroking.
Steady Stroking
Now it is time for some steady stroking. We want you
to get to a higher level of intensity so that you can possibly make a better
connection. You are fully lubricated, but you can always add some more if you
feel at all dry. Use your favorite strokes. We recommend repeating reliable
strokes of the same type to take you higher. We also think that using a stroke
that provides a great deal of contact between hand and penis will stimulate the
most nerves. That being said, you will want to experiment and check out many
different kinds of strokes—from short ones to long ones, from full hand to
fingertip. As long as you repeat the same stroke a number of times, you will
allow yourself to go higher; as soon as you change the stroke, you will
probably go down (peak) for a short time until you’ve repeated that stroke a
number of times, too.
Steady-Stroke Connections
We are still interested in creating connections
between your penis and the rest of your body. Take a little lubricant in your
free hand and select a secondary area. Repeat the same steady stroke on both
areas. Do this for a while, and then remove your hand or finger from the
secondary area. Keep it just above the skin while still moving your hand as if
you were stroking yourself. Notice any sensation in the secondary area, and
continue as long as the sensation there continues. When the sensation ends, put
your hand back on the secondary area and rub the two areas in tandem again.
After stroking them simultaneously for a while, take your hand off your penis
and, in the air just above the penis, continue with your stroking motion.
Notice if you have any sensation in your penis. As before, continue this motion
until all sensation ends, and then put your hand back on your penis and stroke
both areas simultaneously again. When you change the stroke on your penis,
change the stroke on your secondary area. The more often you practice this
exercise, the more of a connection you will build. These activities are for
your enjoyment and education. You can continue with the connections exercise,
or you can do it for a while and then go back to masturbating. You can peak
yourself as many times as you like, getting close to ejaculation but not going
over. Experiment and have fun.
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