Let me
admit my bias about male anal pleasure right off the bat. Guys: getting fucked
in the ass is one of the greatest gifts you can give a woman and yourself.
First, there is the purely physical prize that awaits you when you are on the
receiving end of anal pleasure: incredibly arousing prostate stimulation. Too
many men still have not experienced the wonders of their prostate gland. For
many of you, your first foray into the land of anal penetration probably took
place in a sterile white room, on a paper-covered table. Your proctologist
squeezed a lump of K-Y onto his latex-clad hand and shoved his finger up your
ass. It wasn't erotic, it didn't feel particularly good, and you weren't even
attracted to the guy. All this happened five minutes after words like
"prostate cancer" and "rectal exam" were uttered. Some
turn-on. Now you know how women feel at the gynecologist's. Put this experience
out of your mind—it was a medical exam. I'm talking about mind-blowing sex.
But in
order to have this mind-blowing sex, most men must first get over a lot of
shame and fear and embrace all the ass has to offer: those nerve endings, that
sensitive tissue, and the pleasures of the prostate. Remember, a few inches
inside the rectum and toward his navel, the "male G-spot" and a world
of ecstasy awaits.
Since anal
pleasure is still taboo in American culture, anyone who admits to being a
backdoor betty is on the front lines of sexual liberation. As women, since we
are already positioned as the receptive, penetrated partner, we need only
reorient ourselves to focus on the other orifice. The man, on the other hand,
is the penetrator, the active partner, the pencil to her sharpener. Anal sex is
a unique opportunity for men to be penetrated—the other side of the fence for
those of you usually dishing it out. Giving your body over to a woman in a
(w)hole new way requires extreme trust; plus, men must also confront some of
the bag-gage that comes with a desire for anal pleasure. Reassure your-self
that wanting to be a bend-over boyfriend does not make you gay, kinky, or
immoral. Some men may feel particularly submissive when a woman
"does" them; however, you don't have to be passive to be penetrated.
I encourage you to work through any issues you may have about your sexual or
gender role, and come out of an altogether different closet, along with other
straight men who can proudly say, "I love getting fucked in the ass!"
Prostate
stimulation may take some getting used to. Make sure to give your partner
helpful hints about what kinds of stimulation feel the best. Realize also that
when some men have their ass stimulated, they may lose their erection; no one
is exactly sure why this happens. Don't be alarmed if it happens to you or your
partner. A loss of erection could signal a man's fear or anxiety about being
penetrated, and you may want to check in with your partner if you sense some
physical or emotional dis-comfort. However, a man may also be having the time
of his life and still have a less than rock-hard cock. It's okay, it just means
your body is more focused on your ass than your cock at the moment. It may not
happen every time you are penetrated, or it may change as you become aroused.
Worrying about your loss of erection is not going to help it return or help you
to have a good time. Relax, and let it do whatever it wants to do.
As women
try out the role of active penetrator, we can slip our tongues, fingers, and
(rubber) cocks inside our male lovers' bodies, learning how to give and get
pleasure in a brand-new way. Being on the other side of the dick is a chance
for women to have their own revolution, too. We can see how the other half does
it, and experience our power as women in a new way. Since our anorectal anatomy
is so similar, all the tips and techniques you read about in this article apply
to both women and men. You can use your mouth, your fingers, or an anal-sex toy
to penetrate your man's ass. Some couples, however, like to experience their
anal pleasure with a strap-on dildo.
Strap-On
Sex Tips
For many
reasons, strapons are a great way to experience anal penetration. Dildos and
harnesses mean that you can have a hands-free fuck, and use your mitts for
other things. People also like the closeness (of body and mind) that a strap-on
affords partners during penetration. With a strap-on, a woman can put her whole
body behind the penetration, and feel what it's like to shoot from the hip, so
to speak.
There is a
growing selection of harnesses made of leather, vinyl, nylon webbing, and even
denim; two of the best manufacturers of quality harnesses (who also do retail
sales) are Stormy Leather in San Francisco and Asian Leather in Toronto,
Canada. Your choice of material depends on how you want your harness to look
and how much money you want to spend.
Harnesses
come in several styles, and your selection should depend on both function and
aesthetics. There is a basic triangle harness with one strap that fits between
your legs; this harness tends to fit especially petite women the best. Because
it fits like a G-string, the center strap rubs against your genitals, which may
feel stimulating to some and annoying to others. There is a two-strapped
harness with a triangle front which you wear like a jock strap; this style
places the straps around your ass cheeks, leaving your vagina and ass easily
accessible and free to be stimulated. People find that the two-strap harness tends
to give them more control than the one strap model; the dildo moves around less
and is easier to guide. Both of these triangle styles have a hole where you
slip the dildo through, which rests against your pubic mound.
If you
prefer something between you and the dildo, there is a two-strap harness with a
piece of material behind the cock ring. This style (sometimes called the
"Terra Firma" harness) also allows you to change the size of the cock
ring, which is especially good if the dildo you are using is significantly
smaller or larger than an average sized one. You also have a choice of
fasteners on your harness, either buckles or D-rings. There are plenty of other
styles, including those made to fit plus-sized women. See what fits you best
and is easiest for you to adjust.
You want to
choose a harness that fits you well—the snugger and more secure the better. I
recommend that you try a few different styles on before you buy them, or if you
order from a catalog, see what the return policy is. The majority of dildos
will fit in a standard harness, as long as there is a flared base and the dildo
isn't excessively large. For beginning anal players, I would recommend a
smaller dildo to start out.
As a woman
doing the penetration, you should experiment with different positions. I know
that the first few times I fucked someone in the ass with a strap-on, I had the
person in traditional doggie-style position for several reasons. Doggie style
gives you a clear view of the butthole, so you can see exactly what you're
doing, and the position allows for a good angle of penetration toward the
prostate. It's also an easy position to get your balance, establish a rhythm,
and get some good thrusting going. So, you may want to start out that way, but
you can also try missionary (usually with legs over the shoulders) or
man-on-top.
Learning
how to skillfully wield a strap-on takes practice and patience. If you feel
like the dildo is moving around too much or doesn't feel secure, then your
harness isn't tight enough and you should adjust it. In the beginning, you may
want to guide the dildo with your hand, which will give you more control of
exactly where it's going. When your partner is ready for penetration, be gentle
and go slowly. Press the tip of the well-lubricated dildo against his opening,
and have him come back on it. This may help him feel less vulnerable, and will
reassure you that you're not hurting him. Once you are inside him, and he's
ready for some movement, begin slowly. You want to establish a thrusting motion
with your hips, one that feels good to him and won't tire you out too quickly.
Women can
enjoy penetrating men on many different levels. The trust and intimacy between
partners can feel especially heightened and very arousing. The naughty, taboo
aspects of both anal sex and a woman with a dick can really get her motor
going. The power she feels as the penetrating partner can also add to her
fantasy and pleasure. Women, you'll be happy to know that strap-on anal sex
also has the potential to be physically stimulating for you.
There are
several opportunities for women to get a little action themselves while they
are giving it to their guys. For some women, when the base of the dildo rubs
against the clitoris and vagina, there is enough friction there to feel
fantastic. There is a textured silicone square made by Dils for Does called
"The Magic Carpet," which you wear between the dildo and your pussy;
its bumps and grooves give you extra stimulation in all the right places. I
also want to add a plug for dildos with balls. Some women don't choose a dildo
with balls simply because they pre-fer a more nonrealistic style. However,
balls do more than make it look real; they extend the base of the dildo and
cover more surface area—which means more for you to rub up against. Think about
it.
If you'd
like to add a vibrator to the equation, you have several options. You could
select a vibrating dildo, which will deliver vibration to both you and your
partner. You could try to don a wearable vibrator beneath your harness, but
this may be awkward and interfere with the harness being tight enough. A better
idea is the "Buzz Me" harness made by Stormy Leather and equipped
with a pocket for a small vibrating egg. Or Vixen Creations has several dildos,
among them "Treasure Chest" and "Bobby Sue," with
hollowed-out bases. Stick a vibrating egg in the base of the dildo, tuck the
battery pack in the side of your harness, and you're ready for vibrating
action, his and hers style!
Perhaps you
want something inside you while you put some-thing inside him; well, you can do
that too. There are harnesses with two holes, one for the dildo to penetrate
him with, another for a dildo pointing in your direction (made by Outrageous
Creations and Stormy Leather). Stormy Leather makes a "harness cuff,"
which can transform a one hole harness into a two-hole harness. There are also
double-headed dildos designed by Vixen and Tantus especially for one-hole
harness use. The "Nexus" by Vixen is not an extra long jelly dong
like you see in adult novelty stores. Instead, it's a two dildos-in-one
package: you can have a dildo inside your vagina or your ass while
simultaneously penetrating your partner. I just love sex-toy technology.
Congrats
for being able to voice your fantasy out loud and tell your boyfriend. Some
people think that it's just a very popular circus trick in porn, but there are
real women who love to have both holes filled (and fucked) at once. My first
piece of advice is that maybe the two of you should practice some double
penetration before you invite a friend over. Begin at the beginning, with one
well-lubed finger in each hole, and work your way up from there. Use lots and
lots of lube, go slow, and see what kind of movement feels best.
When you
are ready to graduate to something bigger, use a flexible vibrator or dildo in
your ass as your boyfriend penetrates your vagina. Start out with both inside
only part of the way, and gradually move farther as you feel ready. Communication
is extremely important: you're testing the limits of your body, so make sure
you give your man plenty of feedback about how it feels. Also realize that some
women can easily and comfortably accommodate something of size in their pussy
and in their ass. Others will take some effort, with lots of warm-up. But some
women may not be able to do it at all, since double penetration really depends
on your internal map, and if there's room for two. You are the one who will
know best if it's possible, so make sure you're the one who's in charge and
calling the shots. Work out the kinks on your dildo before you plan your
threesome.
When you
are ready to tackle two flesh cocks at once, again, use plenty of lube and go
really slow. Depending on the size and height of all three of you, some
positions will work better than others. You may want to straddle one man and
have the other penetrate you from behind. Try to take one cock about halfway
inside your pussy, then angle your body to take the other one in your ass. Both
men should start with very shallow penetration, so you can get used to the
feeling. Remember that porn stars make it look easy in adult movies, but they
are seasoned professionals! You may be much more awkward your first time
around.
P.S. After reading this article, one might very much enjoy and take benefit of the following post: http://howtoloveguide.blogspot.co.at/2013/08/walk-away-from-laziness.html?spref=bl
Cheers, Emmy
*Disclaimer
This information and advice published or made available through this article is not intended to replace the services of a physician, nor does it constitute a doctor-patient relationship.
P.S. After reading this article, one might very much enjoy and take benefit of the following post: http://howtoloveguide.blogspot.co.at/2013/08/walk-away-from-laziness.html?spref=bl
Cheers, Emmy
*Disclaimer
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After reading this article, one might very much enjoy and take benefit of the following post: http://howtoloveguide.blogspot.co.at/2013/08/walk-away-from-laziness.html?spref=bl
ReplyDeleteCheers, Emmy
Good article! I would also stress anal fingering, prostate massage, and analingus as the place to begin female-on-male anal play. They don't require anything extra besides water-based lubricant (like KY Jelly), and they are enormously pleasurable in their own right. If you are interested in anal toys like dildos and plugs, and strap-on sex, fingering is the place to begin. You need to open up and relax the receiver's anus.
ReplyDeleteAlso, before even getting to that point, consider the receiver having a few plain-water enemas, to rinse out the rectum. Both of you will feel more uninhibiting and confident. It also relaxes the receiver's anus and rectum which makes things go better.
For links to information, as well as stories, artwork, and photos of female-on-male anal, check out straightmaleanalerotic.tumblr.com
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